|
[February 08, 2007 @ 6:12pm] |
|
i can't believe anna nicole smith died.... what?
|
|
| Kong the Dong |
[December 18, 2006 @ 10:21am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
my chemical romance - famous last words |
] |
|
|
|
[December 16, 2006 @ 1:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
hinder - better than me |
] |
This stupid town always makes me think of him. I can't escape him. I can't go anywhere without being reminded of him. I am pretty sure I could have fallen in love with him. I could have done it all with him. I don't think it should feel this way. Highway 65, his football number. Seeing his last name plastered against some random sweatshirt. Drive in movie theater. My upside down bed. Eau Claire. The park and ride. Econo. Cheap Beer Drunkenness. Sexual Texting. Getting off work, and looking for someone to text. Hudson High School and my our lack of being there.. together. The list goes on.. I didn't even pause to think about what I wanted to write. It just flowed. I can't take it.
God I miss him. I can't ever get him off my mind. No matter where I am, what I'm doing. I can ALWAYS find a memory with him in whatever I'm doing.
I can't decide if I want to get over him and not have things remind me of him - but not have my heart hurt. Or, never get over him and smile when I see things that remind me of how much fucking fun I had with him - and have that ache in my heart, that I constantly have. Which is worse? Painlessly never thinking of your best friend or painfully thinking of him? Can you be best friends with someone you don't talk to? I've never known anyone better then I knew him. Sometimes I say things and wonder, what would he have said to this? It kills to not hear his voice. He won't answer, and calling his phone and knowing that hurts more than I could put into words, but it's so fucking amazing to just hear his voice on the answering machine. I ask about him, not because I'm being creepy and stalking, I just want to make sure he's happy.. because although he's hurt me more than he will ever know, I pray to God every night that he is okay and happy and the same boy I left. Because that boy was the definition of amazing.
I'd do anything to have one more day with him. Anything.
with hope....
xo.
|
|
| obsessed. |
[December 04, 2006 @ 2:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
hinder - better than me. |
] |
I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took
That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
(You deserve much better than me)
hinder - better than me
download it.
|
|
| just typing. |
[October 06, 2006 @ 12:14am] |
nothing has worked out how i thought it would. im listening to this carrie underwood song, and although it depresses me, its true. i expected so much. this mornign i woke up and i really missed high school.even though that was nothing like i thought it would. i try so hard to not get my hopes up for things because ultimately ive neverf been anything expcet disappointed. i guess im swearing off boys for a while, and although ive said that quite a bit, i really mean it. i mean, i havent had a real boyfrien din.. 2 yhears? no man, no cry right? sometimes i cant take how much it just hurts to bne disappointed.. and im tied of being disappointed. id ont think i deserve it. ive had such a vision for this year.. and so far all ive done is drown myself in drinks because it isnt what i epxceted. not that its bad, its not what i wanted i guess... and i dont know what to do to get what i want. i think im a nice girl, not overly attractive but not ugly... i mean, why not, right? im just a really ,really sad girl with a lot of problems and issues. fooled you huh?
ultimately, i guess i'm tired of hope and my dreams.
because it isnt worth shit.
|
|
|
[September 15, 2006 @ 11:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
10 years: wasteland |
] |
ITS MY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
|
|
|
[September 13, 2006 @ 3:13pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
kelly clarkson: since you been gone |
] |
there aren't words for my disappointment in you.
you have let me down so many times, i don't even know why i am surprised anymore.
i guess all i can say is, i hope someday you grow up and decide to be a man.
and i hope you're happy with your decisions.
you've made your bed. now lie in it.
|
|
|
[September 12, 2006 @ 5:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 outraged |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
eve 6: girlfriend |
] |
i'm done.
fuck you,
fuck you,
fuck you,
and...fuck you.
no we can't just be friends.
i'm severing contact.
thank you for letting me know we were done.
thank you for cutting me out.
thank you for never caring.
thank you for pretending.
thank you for nothing.
all and all,
fuck you, fuck you every much.
|
|
|
[August 04, 2006 @ 10:20pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dixie chicks - godspeed |
] |
apparently i "blew it out of proportion"
it wasn't anything to be upset about.
he just didnt talk to me for a few days.
no big deal.
have a nice fucking life. enjoy the picture in the picture frame i bought for you, ass.
|
|
|
[July 29, 2006 @ 12:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
gordon lightfoot: if you could read my mind |
] |
ATTENTION STACY MICHELLE: i stole some of your henry rollins quotes. they're good and i'm sure we probably going through the same thing right now, because yeah. that always happens to us.
♥
|
|
|
[July 11, 2006 @ 8:06pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dr. john - right place, wrong time |
] |
HAHAHAHAHAHA. My user pic.
|
|
|
[July 10, 2006 @ 1:14am] |
I must say, Johnny Depp is quite attractive. If it weren't for him POTCII would NOT be worth seeing.
What a let down.
Thank god for JD, though ;)
|
|
|
[July 06, 2006 @ 6:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
something corporate - konstantine |
] |
WELL WHAT THE HELL?!
if you make plans, you're usually expected to go through with it.
Usually.
|
|
| what hurts the most, was being so close... |
[June 22, 2006 @ 12:01am] |
i can't live, i can't breathe unless you do this with me.
------------------------------------------------------------------
i want you to know its a little messed up that i'm stuck here waithing, no long debating, tired of sitting here and waiting and making these excuses for why you're not around and feeling sorta useless. it seems that one thing has been true all along, you don't really know what you've got til it's gone. when you come back i wont be here and you can say
where'd you go? i miss you so.
it seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
|
|
|
[June 04, 2006 @ 9:55pm] |
|
i dare you to tell me the truth.
|
|
|
[May 21, 2006 @ 10:26am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
jem - flying high |
] |
being sick & having a nose ring is possibly the most disgusting combination EVER.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
silhouetttes's journal
